New Facebook Picture
Not only is today payday in Korealand, but I also achieved a feat once thought impossible outside of the continental United States: I got the interweb in my apartment. I'm not sure exactly when it got here or by what means (my current theory is it got caught in a tuna fisherman's net off the coast of Busan and was imported via the black market, just in time for Screech's sex tape), but the internet has exploded in the nation of Korea faster than GaGa in the Meat Packing District (as well as all subsequent explosions in Meat Packing caused by GaGa).
Having a connection to the outside world means one thing for those of you reading this--aside from the fact that you've already watched Screech's sex tape, many times--it means the Big American Man blog is back! I've heard complaints from a majority of BAM followers (4 out of 7 is a majority) about the lack of new posts over the past month. The problem, friends, is that although Korea is regarded as the most internet friendly nation in the world, the city of Yeongcheon apparently slept in the morning President Lee was handing out broadband routers. And so the only chances I've had over the past five weeks to update this Pulitzer Prize-reading blog have been at the elementary school where I teach. Now I'm no rocket surgeon, or even a Korean elementary school student, but I fathom the powers that be here wouldn't look too favorably on my using faculty resources to compare the history of the Korean nation to Robert Downy Jr.'s sex addiction (coming soon, winkyface!) They'd ship my behind out like the American beef that they believe to be riddled with Mad Cow Disease.
So what exactly have I been up to since orientation in Jeonju? Well I could write a couple of paragraphs about my transition to Korean life, about exploring the town of Yeongcheon or singing karaoke with my school's principal, but I'm no Susie-Talks-A-Lot. I'm an American. I like things fast, easy, and YouTube-compatible. So, in summation, this is how I made my millions in Korea:
Lesson 1: The Tourist and the Local
Lesson 2: Healthy Eating and Physical Fitness
Some of you may be shaking your heads right now, wondering why the Korean government would pay someone $2,000 a month to do...this. And some of you may accuse me of flat out taking money from the Korean public school system. But as the wise Gautama Buddha once preached beneath the lotus tree, "You've got to make money, to take money."
