Scene 1
[George arrives at the Busan train station, smiling and reanimated. He hops out of the train car, brushes dust off of his jacket sleeve, and looks up to see...]
George: What the fuck?
Scene 2
[George sits outside of a raw fish restaurant in which patrons can pick out the fish they wish to eat, watch as a loud, thick-armed woman kills it in front of them, then dine on it five minutes later.
(There are several such restaurants along Haeundae and Gwangalli beaches.) George holds a half-empty bottle of soju, looking out at the "beach."]
George: I've been had! Hoodwinked! Butt-fucked by life once again! To think, a few meager hours could transform my beautiful muse into a common harlot, a woman of easy virtue. Damn these silly revelries; these impish wishes that leave a man's heart more soaked with melancholy than before! Ay! Curse mine eyes!
[Busan enters, stage left. She is drunk and provocatively dressed.]
Busan: [To a group of young men] Hey boys, lookin' for a (hiccup) good time? Welcome to Busan, home of bitches, babes, and boos. Haa haa (hiccup) haa! You guys wanna make out?
George: Enough! In the immortal words of the poet-warrior Popeye, "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more." I am off! To the deep, quiet grave of the East Sea (don't call it the Sea of Japan, Koreans will get mad) I resign my empty heart, which beats now merely in procedure, for there is no passion nor purpose left in its chambers.
Busan: [To George] How 'bout you stud, wanna like feel me up along the boardwalk? I'm famous for my (hiccup) authentic American-style boardwalk. Don't mind the weird smell, that's just the local (hiccup) fried squid vendors.
George: Be gone, vile temptress! You've made a cuckold of me! This hideous mermaid's call has drowned its last victim!
[George beings running toward the sea. Busan blocks his path.]
Busan: Why don't you check out my aquarium? [Lifts up her skirt.] We have like (hiccup) twenty different kinds of fish or something. And you can swim with the sharks, only 80,000 won...
George: Oh God!!
[George shields his eyes in disgust. He turns around and runs up the stairs toward the raw fish restaurant behind him.]
Scene 3
[Raw fish restaurant, interior. George sulks at a corner table, surrounded by happy, chattering Korean couples.]
George: Stupid...rasrfrn...no good...frsnrs...Yogio! Soju chusayo! Another soju over here!
[The waitress enters with a bottle of soju and a plate of food. George looks at the plate quizzically.]
George: What is this monstrosity? I ordered nothing of the sort.
Waitress: (Loud Korean gibberish.)
[George pokes the plate with a chopstick.]
George: Ugh..it appears to be some sort of wretched sea creature. I don't know which is more deleterious to my appetite, the look of this insidious bile or the ghastly odor emanating from it.
Voice: Mind your tongue young man!
[A light appears from within the plate. The restaurant goes dark. George is frozen with fear.]
George: Who...who are you?
Octie: I am called Octie, the magical talking octopus. And you are George Mugin, English teacher from Yeongcheon.
George: How do you know that?
Octie: There is no earthly span that my enchanted tentacles cannot reach. I know all about you George Mugin; I know why you're here, and I know how you've failed in your quest.
George: Failed? It was not I Octie; it was Busan. Or rather, there was no Busan to begin with, only the fleeting thought of her..
Octie: Fool! Your eyes deceive you. Are you so callous as to be blind to the beauty in the everyday happenings of this world? Or are you a mere vagabond in nobleman's clothing?
Geroge: I...
Octie: Silence! [Lifting her tentacles.] I feel the good in you yet, George Mugin, but you must learn to look past mere aesthetics, to see beyond Busan's rash exterior.
George: How do I do that?
Octie: Here, drink this. It will help you realize your hidden love for Busan, the bar skank of Korea.
George: What is it?
Octie: It's a magical concoction called..17 jello shots. It will relax your mind's eye and leave a wonderful cherry aftertaste on your tongue. They sell them at The Fuzzy Navel for 1,000 won each.
[George drinks 17 jello shots.]
George: Then I shall seek the fair Busan once more and retry my love,
But first, to Family Mart, for surely I will not touch her without a glove.
[George exits.]
[End Act II]
[George arrives at the Busan train station, smiling and reanimated. He hops out of the train car, brushes dust off of his jacket sleeve, and looks up to see...]
George: What the fuck?
Scene 2
[George sits outside of a raw fish restaurant in which patrons can pick out the fish they wish to eat, watch as a loud, thick-armed woman kills it in front of them, then dine on it five minutes later.
(There are several such restaurants along Haeundae and Gwangalli beaches.) George holds a half-empty bottle of soju, looking out at the "beach."]
George: I've been had! Hoodwinked! Butt-fucked by life once again! To think, a few meager hours could transform my beautiful muse into a common harlot, a woman of easy virtue. Damn these silly revelries; these impish wishes that leave a man's heart more soaked with melancholy than before! Ay! Curse mine eyes!
[Busan enters, stage left. She is drunk and provocatively dressed.]
Busan: [To a group of young men] Hey boys, lookin' for a (hiccup) good time? Welcome to Busan, home of bitches, babes, and boos. Haa haa (hiccup) haa! You guys wanna make out?
George: Enough! In the immortal words of the poet-warrior Popeye, "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more." I am off! To the deep, quiet grave of the East Sea (don't call it the Sea of Japan, Koreans will get mad) I resign my empty heart, which beats now merely in procedure, for there is no passion nor purpose left in its chambers.
Busan: [To George] How 'bout you stud, wanna like feel me up along the boardwalk? I'm famous for my (hiccup) authentic American-style boardwalk. Don't mind the weird smell, that's just the local (hiccup) fried squid vendors.
George: Be gone, vile temptress! You've made a cuckold of me! This hideous mermaid's call has drowned its last victim!
[George beings running toward the sea. Busan blocks his path.]
Busan: Why don't you check out my aquarium? [Lifts up her skirt.] We have like (hiccup) twenty different kinds of fish or something. And you can swim with the sharks, only 80,000 won...
George: Oh God!!
[George shields his eyes in disgust. He turns around and runs up the stairs toward the raw fish restaurant behind him.]
Scene 3
[Raw fish restaurant, interior. George sulks at a corner table, surrounded by happy, chattering Korean couples.]
George: Stupid...rasrfrn...no good...frsnrs...Yogio! Soju chusayo! Another soju over here!
[The waitress enters with a bottle of soju and a plate of food. George looks at the plate quizzically.]
George: What is this monstrosity? I ordered nothing of the sort.
Waitress: (Loud Korean gibberish.)
[George pokes the plate with a chopstick.]
George: Ugh..it appears to be some sort of wretched sea creature. I don't know which is more deleterious to my appetite, the look of this insidious bile or the ghastly odor emanating from it.
Voice: Mind your tongue young man!
[A light appears from within the plate. The restaurant goes dark. George is frozen with fear.]
George: Who...who are you?
Octie: I am called Octie, the magical talking octopus. And you are George Mugin, English teacher from Yeongcheon.
George: How do you know that?
Octie: There is no earthly span that my enchanted tentacles cannot reach. I know all about you George Mugin; I know why you're here, and I know how you've failed in your quest.
George: Failed? It was not I Octie; it was Busan. Or rather, there was no Busan to begin with, only the fleeting thought of her..
Octie: Fool! Your eyes deceive you. Are you so callous as to be blind to the beauty in the everyday happenings of this world? Or are you a mere vagabond in nobleman's clothing?
Geroge: I...
Octie: Silence! [Lifting her tentacles.] I feel the good in you yet, George Mugin, but you must learn to look past mere aesthetics, to see beyond Busan's rash exterior.
George: How do I do that?
Octie: Here, drink this. It will help you realize your hidden love for Busan, the bar skank of Korea.
George: What is it?
Octie: It's a magical concoction called..17 jello shots. It will relax your mind's eye and leave a wonderful cherry aftertaste on your tongue. They sell them at The Fuzzy Navel for 1,000 won each.
[George drinks 17 jello shots.]
George: Then I shall seek the fair Busan once more and retry my love,
But first, to Family Mart, for surely I will not touch her without a glove.
[George exits.]
[End Act II]
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